SHEILA BOUCHARD

So… I started this page as a result of writing my book, “He Saw Me & Found Me.” I follow several moms and their blogs regarding their lives with autism. The three main gals I follow have children much younger than mine. I have been feeling a nudge for a while to start sharing some of our journey, not only with autism but with life. Hopefully it will help someone on their journey.

For those new to my page and our journey, my husband and I have five adult children – two of whom have special needs (1 with autism, age 32, and 1 with Prader-Willi Syndrome, age 41).

As part of my journey, I would much rather share the end of the process when we have gotten the victory, but part of what I have enjoyed with these other groups is watching the reality of the process they walk through. One of the slight differences I may share is my faith through the journey, as that is the primary foundation for my life, as any of you know who has read my book.

Recently we have been walking through some major things with Sam, our 32-year-old son with non-verbal autism, that have stumped Dan & me. In my book, I talk about a couple of times with Sam that we have walked through some real challenges, and this past season has been much like those.

I am not sure when the worst of it all started; I know things have been a roller coaster since about March. Sam began some behaviors of yelling, slapping himself, and even hitting walls, which have made life quite an adventure! In the past, things like that appeared when he was ill, along with him taking naps (Sam typically is not a napper). We have been back and forth to the doctor and the dentist through trial and error to rule out medical issues. Amidst it all, we have had a bad allergy season and sinus infections, but then seemingly nothing. Once again, things that may have started as medical issues now include learned behavior issues. We went through some months of possible silent seizures to increased meds, to increased behaviors, to other med-adjustments – through it all, praying we would find the root of it.

We finally had come to what we hoped was our final med-adjustment, with two weeks of no incidents (or very minor, at least). We breathed easily for the first time in months and were so thankful that “Sam was back!”

You see, we have had extraordinary times through the years with Sam. Although he is pretty much non-verbal, he has had seasons of “spreading joy,” if you would, smiling from the depths of his heart, regardless of the adversities around him. We were even able to enjoy dinners in restaurants without conflict.

This season has yet to be one of those. This weekend/week, we are again walking through yet another med adjustment. The doctor seems to think many of the things we are seeing are from his seizure medicine, so we are replacing it with another one. It has been a transition of double dosing, if you would. Under his doctor’s care, we are slowly adding the new one to the old one through a period and eventually cutting out the old for the new. The whole process has caused Sam to be drowsy, and my Momma Bear instincts are on high alert, watching for anything amiss. Rest and sleep are his priority through this.

Now, I would much rather share this with you when we have arrived on the other side. Or…better yet, tell you we had a miraculous intervention, and it ‘just happened.’ The truth is, I know miracles still happen today; as I write that, I think of the time in church when I had a huge bump on the back of my neck, and as the guest speaker spoke, it literally just disappeared during the service without anyone touching it. Both Dan & I knew a miracle had happened!

On the other hand, I think of the bible story of Naaman from 2Kings5:1-19. He needed a miracle, and the prophet told him to wash in the Jordan seven times for his healing. He wasn’t excited about “the process” and almost missed his healing because it didn’t come as he had hoped.

Can we still trust God through the process even if it doesn’t look like we hoped? Will we abandon ship in the process, or can we rest and trust that as we rest and heal, we are in the palm of God’s hand, and He will bring us to the other side? Can we be thankful on the journey, knowing God has been faithful in the past and will continue to be?

I am unsure of your “process” today but know that I see you! More than that, God sees you! I am praying you through – you will get through this!!  ❤