This young man pictured here was my first introduction to a special needs world – isn’t he cute? The crazy thing is, I didn’t realize I was born into a special needs family until I got older!
To me, he was my big brother Jeff, five years older than me. As with any siblings, we had our typical sibling rivalry. One moment making each other crazy fighting and the next, hanging out.
Growing up, I remember having to kneel in the corner until we kissed and made up after a sibling argument. He very quickly apologized and moved on – not me, there was no way I was going to kiss and make-up, LOL!!
During puberty he gave my mom a run for her money and that’s when he started to go to a special school. That’s when the aggression started, and I think I realized things were different. Back in those days, they said he had M.R. – a word that might get me kicked off the internet these days, so I’ll use today’s term of Intellectually delayed (they didn’t have a specific diagnosis back in the day – everything delayed fell under the “M.R.” category, which technically just means slower mentally).
I’m ashamed to admit that during my teenage years I did struggle with it somewhat. Not because I didn’t love my brother, because no one would defend him like one of us siblings. I think I was sad because I would see how mean people who didn’t know him were. I remember riding the bus home one day from school. Jeff was riding his bike and some of the kids on the bus started making fun of him, my eyes burned holding back the tears, I wanted to go and punch them out. I was thankful he couldn’t hear them through the windows. I might pick on my brother, but don’t you dare, he’s part of us!
Last summer at Joni&Friends camp, some of the moms in the mom’s group were sharing how their adult kids call their siblings who were disabled, regularly. I remember thinking, how nice, I wonder if my other children will do that to Jess & Sam? Then it dawned on me – that was me/us! Lol. My brother faithfully calls me every day and fills me in on his day – often several times a day! Oh yes, I forgot, I too am a sister of a special brother. 😊
The other night at date night, I was sharing with my husband about an autistic young man and his family I follow. The young man has gone on to a college program with supports and is now beginning to establish his own life. As I shared his journey with my husband and how well he is beginning to do on his own, it dawned on me the progress my brother has made! As we sat at my brother’s house reminiscing over old photos, I realized how blessed I was and how far he had come.
If you had told us when my brother was younger that he would live on his own, eventually working at a company for 25 years and be where he is today, I’m not sure we would have pictured it!
Here he is, retired at 67 and continuing to thrive. I’m so proud of him and I’m so thankful for my sister and brother-in-law who continue to give him the extra support he needs to make it. I’m also so thankful for the many people/angels that are in his life who look out for him when we’re not around – he’s well known at the senior center and local restaurants, lol.
Young man, you’ve come far! Your little sister is still getting there but you’ve taught me well! Love ya ❤
SHEILA BOUCHARD 