So I was recently asking God what to write about because I was stuck. In the busy-ness of life, I haven’t made time to sit and write. In any case, I think I heard Him as I sat in church this morning.
You see, lately, it seems like it’s been a time of true confessions all around me. OK, well mostly for me (and my poor husband who I’ve been beyond vulnerable with), it seems like I have been confessing things that I’m not sure I would have ever shared privately, never mind openly. But you know what?, after I’ve shared them, I’ve almost felt a new freedom and they don’t hold me anymore. In the midst of it – God is changing my mindset but I’ll share that later on – it’s the best part!
For example, during this season of Christmas, I’ve been struggling and beating myself up about it. Did you ever feel like you are the only one in the world who has certain struggles? I mean, you know you’re not the only one but sometimes it appears that way? There are so many inadequacies I can list – like I suck (pardon my French) at gift giving; I stink at making phone calls; I fail at letting those people in my life that I care for know how much I care about them; I can’t seem to keep my house in order and I’m certain everyone else’s is in tip top shape (ha-ha – ok, some of you know how I feel here, right?). Not to mention all the cards I purchase but never get in the mail! And the list could go on and on.
So… this week I’ve been challenged in these thoughts. Why do I often feel like I fail? Because I listen to that lie that beats me up. No one can beat me up like I do. That lie that paralyzes me into doing nothing and makes me hide. One day as I was beating myself up the thought came, ‘why are you beating yourself up? Is that what God says about you?’ Sure, we all make mistakes or have shortcomings but God sees us victorious and speaks life into us; I decided to partner with that and said ‘yes, I may miss the mark sometimes; I may not always know what gift to give within my budget; I may not always make the phone call I should, or send the note I should but that doesn’t make me a failure, it makes me a work in progress’. There are times I have to choose between a clean house and time spent in the presence of my family; there are times I let fear or tiredness rule me rather than making that call; there are times I let the thought that my gift/card/ etc. isn’t good enough and end up not doing anything rather than at least acknowledging my love for people but yet, HE gets me! He hears my cry and encourages me – don’t worry what others think. Take time to hang out with your family – even if it’s just being in each other’s company, the dust bunnies will wait; (remember Mary & Martha?). Go ahead and send that card, even if there’s nothing in it but your heart felt words – they’re priceless to you and just may make someone’s day. ‘Really Lord?’ and I hear, ‘how often are you blessed when someone makes time to share their heart with you?’. Wow, yes, that blesses me!
Sometimes my life is crazy with all that I juggle but yours probably is too, just with different juggling! Haha! Our lives may not be similar but one thing I am coming to love and enjoy lately is the diversity in those around me. I will never be you and you will never be me. You may never understand these struggles because maybe you’re one of the ones who has it all together but that is O.K. I love you for your organization and all you offer and yet I enjoy my life and all its craziness. This season let us learn to value each other and be thankful for our friendships and relationships; we can all learn something from each other if we stop long enough to hear the Father’s heart for us. If you feel judged, either by someone else or yourself, remember there is only ONE you need to please! If you’re doing what He has called you to, that’s all that counts. Give yourself a gift this season – be gentle to yourself and speak what He speaks to you. He loves you! (remember – it’s Christmas, He loved you so much He came for you!) Speak life and spend more time repeating that over your life rather than those negative things that come at you. You have worth! You are amazing! You are creative because your Father is the Creator and has given you that heritage! Celebrate His life and give the gift of your life to those around you! Love you all – Merry Christmas!