SHEILA BOUCHARD

Family Disclaimer: You may want to avoid reading this while in the middle of something.

During one of my morning prayer times this week, I was reading from John 19:25-27. “(v.25)Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother… (26) When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Dear woman, here is your son,” (27) and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.” NIV.

As I read the above, I contemplated the scenario. Here was Jesus, in his final moments of life, recognizing that those he loved would need each other. He entrusted his mother to John and to John, his mother. He knew they would need each other and together would carry each other through such significant loss. My thoughts wondered that day…

Sunday, at church, during worship, I allowed myself to go to a place I don’t often let myself go to. A place people sometimes challenge me to go to but not one I choose to visit or dwell on often.

Sometimes I read other people’s blogs who have special needs kiddos, and they comment, “What will happen when I get older?”, “what will happen when I’m no longer here?” They place the care or concern on their other kiddos to care for their special needs siblings.

This particular Sunday, in worship, I reflected on that and thought of my own life, those others in my life who have moved to heaven, and that scripture from my week.

I have not spent much time there. Now, I’m not saying to be naive, as I know it is essential to make plans for our death and burial, as we have experienced the adverse of that and the scrambling that can come with it having to bury our loved ones who aren’t prepared. I have also experienced the reverse of that and the best-laid plans of mice and men going awry, for we’re not promised tomorrow.

I remember a day, many years ago, when my mom approached me regarding my own special needs brother. She was trying to make plans for his future, and she and my stepdad had asked me if I would help with his finances and care as they both aged. I guess it seemed the most obvious choice, as I am the youngest of 6 siblings. My husband and I prayed about it, as I had already carried a full plate. At the time, I was knee-deep in raising four children, two of whom have special needs. I wanted to honor my parents and was about to agree to do it, but one of my sisters and her husband decided to step in and take the weight of it. I have to say, I was relieved, as I was not sure how I would do it, but I trusted that if it were meant for me to carry, God would grace me.

Fast forward many years, this one sister has since gone on to heaven after an ugly battle with cancer, and another sister, along with my brother-in-law, has continued to guide and carry the care for my special needs brother. I am grateful and thankful for the grace in their lives to do it.

Back to my Sunday morning worship reflections – I thought of others within my family – that God has brought comfort to – like a nephew who found a fantastic wife! Much like Isaac found Rebekkah after the loss of his mother, Sarah (Genesis 24:66-67 “So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death). I thought of my 88-year-old neighbor, who outlived his wife and cared for his special needs son till he passed (@ approx.58yo), and God brought him a companion in his final years, along with other stories.

I wept at the fact that no one will love Jessica and Sam as I do and prayed that when my time does come, if they are still alive, God will bring someone intuitive in their lives who loves Jesus to love and guide them.

I have never intentionally told my children, as they grew up, that when they are older, they would need to be their caregivers. My mom never put that on us growing up, and I am thankful. It is challenging enough to be a sibling! I know my children have talked about it and have their thoughts, but now that they’re adults, it has crossed their minds and concerns. I honor and respect that, but I also trust God. Just as with Jesus at the cross, I don’t know who God will choose to love them, and I don’t ever want to surmise. It might be the 11^th hour, and if it’s blood family or a non-family member, I hope those left behind will know.

Until then, we do the practical things and plan, but our trust is always in the One we belong to. Am I in denial, or do I have great faith that He who promised is faithful and loves my kiddos even more than I do? He provided for His mother; how much more will He provide for our loved ones who belong to Him first?

As I worshiped, He wrapped a blanket of peace around me and reassured me that my children are only on loan to me, they are His first, and He has them in the palm of His hand.

Today I speak peace over your lives too. As those thoughts try to sneak in to rob you of your time and energy, that you, too, would feel God’s wrap-around peace and presence! Trust Him to guide your steps as you do the practical steps, and let Him hold your tomorrows.

Love you! ❤