SHEILA BOUCHARD

Here stands a young man with pretty much nonverbal autism and “the gate” …

To some, this gate may seem like a prison wall … which, in some sense…you aren’t wrong.

Autism is sometimes like that – a person keeping others out while securing one inside.

For the one with autism, that gate is safety – keeping one safe from dogs and the unexpected, from little ones and sudden movements. It creates an area where he can be himself without the anxiety of having to contend with other unknown factors that might cause more stress.

As I watched my grandkids this week, I was reminded of their younger years. When they were toddlers, there were safety gates to keep them out of things that might harm them. In their curious minds, they wanted to explore EVERYTHING, and the safety gates kept them safe from unexpected perils. Now that they are older, they have learned the areas they can play and explore versus the things or places that are off-limits.

We all have gates in our lives. Some are physical – like the gate around a yard to keep away unexpected visitors or the ones you pass through to get into certain secured buildings where you need to be approved ahead of time.

Some of our gates are invisible to the human eye but still there. Maybe you can relate? Just this morning, God showed me the gate around my heart. It’s this shield that I have put up to protect myself from the criticisms of the world, even as I share my life on this page. The thought that being vulnerable is foolish. The gate that is hesitant to share the real struggles with autism, like family birthday parties that become awkward when your son yells out of nowhere and creates a frenzy on a special day.

The funny thing about gates is that they can be opened to let others in or to let them out. This young man in the picture typically welcomes you in if you engage with him on his level. It might take practice and some coaching from those close to him, but there is an amazing young man behind that gate who has value and worth and wants to engage, even if it’s at his level of safety.

As I considered the gate around my heart, I thought about how some people can enter that gate and make you feel secure enough to keep it unlocked. Some people won’t judge your parenting or life but will link arms with you and let you know you are not alone in your struggle.

More than that, in my life, I was reminded that God would never leave me inside that gate alone unless I chose not to let Him in. In Him, I have such safety. He can come through the gates I have over my heart when I invite Him in. He brings comfort like no other. He reminds me that my vulnerability might bring others hope to know they are not alone. When the gates are put up in their own lives, not only can He bring safety, but when you choose to invite Him in, He knows how to open them.  

We all have gates – who do you let through yours?